Die Hard is a classic Christmas movie, focusing on the importance of family, the joy of being together despite the effort it takes sometimes, the beauty of the city lit by Christmas lights, and the cathartic feeling of defeating Alan Rickman.

Every year, for the last five years, we’ve reviewed what injuries John McClane sustained in Die Hard would cost him and his local hospital. We here at Cleverley + Associates can’t weigh in on how to treat a dislocated shoulder or the best way to flex your toes, but we are experts on hospital data! So, let’s look at the data!

First off, McClane tumbles down a flight of stairs while punching a terrorist. He doesn’t slow down much after this stunt, so he’s probably mostly okay, besides emotional damage. Nonetheless, we should check out that skull for fractures.

Let’s order an MRI and CT.

Let’s take a closer look at how these prices have changed over the years.

Not a fun way to start the adventure, but it could be much worse! It gets worse from there, though, as John has to literally walk across broken glass to rescue his wife. Obviously, we’re simplifying his treatment quite a bit, but let’s say he’s going to need removal of a foreign object, repair of cuts on his feet, and skip all the messy “knowing how to practice medicine” stuff.

Here’s what that looks like over the years.

Next, John is shot with a gun, which is a bit harder to shrug off than cuts to the feet and a blow to the head. Again, we’re talking about a massive list of treatment steps, but let’s pretend it’s just one HCPCS code.

Last but certainly not least, John is flung out a window and breaks his hurtle towards Earth with a fire hose. That’s probably a lot of damage, but let’s focus on an area we haven’t yet— his poor, poor spine.

Ouch.

At last, John is able to ride away with his love, probably spending the rest of the holiday in the hospital trying to explain this all to the police.

Happy Holidays, everyone! Yippee-ki-yay!

Would you like to know how well your hospital measures up if an action hero were to appear at your facility? We can help!